Success Starts With a Desire: How to Decide and Set Goals That You Will Actually Accomplish
by JANIE LOUBSER
Reading Time: 8mins
desire | noun
a strong feeling of wanting to have something or wishing for something to happen
We all have the desire to be, do or have something... these are the first words that greet you as you land on the home page of our website. We go on to say: 'whatever your desire, we show you how to bring it to life.' It’s a big claim, I know. Even speaking about desires can feel foreign but yet many of you requested our 6-Steps to Creating the Life You Want free digital booklet here and signed up for our RECREATE YOU™ coaching programme. This confirms that we all share something in common; that we all have desires, that they aren't that easy to ignore and many of us want to know what the secret is, how do we achieve them?
But in a world that feels frantic and uncertain, it is easy to feel more in touch with our fears than with our desires. We are in survival mode and our minds are preoccupied with everything we should do to make sure we are ok and that we make it. So, how can we ask you what your desires are and then still have the nerve to say that you can create these (whatever they are) if you barely have the time, energy and money for essential and urgent things your life requires?!
Desire and creativity are big ideas and possibly even new and surprising ideas to you. We are asking something big and different from you and we understand that it can feel counter-productive in a world that tells you there are more urgent matters to attend to and that you should conform and tick off that list of shoulds and musts.
If our first words to you were: 'we help you set goals and achieve them', it would be a lot easier to accept what we offer. In the world of finance, business, health and sport we are taught that goal setting is essential and surely, if something is essential then it must be effective? Yet I see how goals end up making people feel like failures and cause anxiety.
But here is a thought: it is not the goals themselves that cause these negative feelings, it is how we set the goals that make us feel anxious and then, when we don’t achieve them we feel like failures. ‘You should earn more and you must eat less and you should have purchased a property by now...’ this all carries the message that you are failing or that you have already failed.
To those of you who haven’t had success with goal setting, or just don’t believe in them, goals will evoke a negative feeling. Goals have even become a joke; take those 'new year, new you' exclamations we keep seeing at the beginning of every year, these reveal that somewhere along the line we have been disappointed by our goals and that new year’s resolutions don’t work.
Then why have we called our programme RECREATE YOU™ if we risk being laughed at? The programme takes you on a creative process that shows you how to build something new. It is something you can do no matter your history or your present circumstances. It shows you how to start over and rethink how you live. It is much more than telling yourself to drink less and exercise more. It shows you how to take responsibility for your whole self – your own happiness. Recreating yourself is actually no laughing matter – it comes at a price and it takes perseverance. There are common obstacles I have seen people face when they commit to recreating themselves. I have designed the Programme so that each step actually represents the answer to a problem you will face in the creative process.
The first problem people face is that they don’t know what they want. They don’t feel they have any desires. So we have called our first step the Identification Phase. I see many people longing, wishing and hoping for things to be different, but they never make a conscious decision to change. How does one make a conscious decision to change? You decide what it is that you want. Instead of merely setting goals, we help you to use who you really are to identify what you really desire. We look at three core areas of your life and then build a goal description based on what you want in these three core areas. When your goals are based on your desires they come from within you - from your soul. Your goal is then a burning desire that motivates you even when you face obstacles.
To illustrate this idea let’s say you have a goal to travel next year. This goal makes you feel good, hey? It is something you want. How do you make this goal a reality? You start by asking yourself Where do I want to go? And the answer comes from a desire. You know where you want to go because you feel a desire for that place, perhaps it's Europe, Italy... the colourful and picturesque Cinque Terra coastline. From there you continue to ask yourself a series of questions that all ask you what you desire: when you want to go; how you want to get there; which airline; how much you want to spend; where you want to stay; what you want to do; what you want to see; what you want to buy; and even who you want to go with... Maybe you see yourself hiring scooters to explore the coastline, stopping spontaneously along the way to eat fresh woodfired pizza and practicing your amateur Italian on expressive and good-looking locals (why not have the Julia Roberts Eat Pray Love experience?) You may see yourself making an interesting new business connection that sparks the opportunity to travel again or see it as a necessary investment to fuel a creative new chapter in your life or business.
By asking yourself what you want, you know what to do to make it a reality. This is creativity. You are creating your goal to travel by asking yourself what you want and then taking the steps to make it a reality. And when you run into challenges you find a way to overcome them because you have a burning desire to travel. I’m sure you’ve heard or even had the experience yourself that the planning of a holiday is as much fun (if not more) as the holiday itself. I think it is because you are asking yourself what you desire – it feels like playing because you are doing something you love.
You may be thinking: but travelling isn’t serious. Yet we are willing to give and do a lot to ensure we are happy when we travel, so why not give and do whatever it takes to make sure you are happy in all the areas of your life?
Here are the steps of our creative process:
- Identification: decide what you really want
- Ignition: do the preparation work by making sure you have all the resources you need
- Inspection: notice challenges and address them
- Injection: have confidence that you can do it
- Intention: set out to do the work daily until it becomes a reality
- Inspiration: have fun and continue to dream
If you need help connecting with your desires you can book a quick coaching coffee with Sarah. As Creative Director, she will have you speaking about your desires in no time and will also be able to point you in the right direction to get going.
These initial consultations are billed at R500 for 1 hour and in person sessions are currently limited to Cape Town.